New year; Evolving me
In the past, I’ve struggled with my depression and anxieties and what that means for my life moving forward. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve never been the type to go out clubbing and be extremely social. I’m a couch potato, who prefers staying in either alone or with friends. But recently I have acknowledged that that is not enough for me.
I used to label myself as lazy, even though I know that I am not. To be fair, I am usually too tired to do much of anything. But when I’m not tired, I make up excuses about why I can’t go out or do something. I avoid going out and being social because it makes me anxious. It’s kept me from going out and meeting new people and making friends (which is extremely difficult once you’ve entered the real world). After speaking with my therapist (and even more recently my dad), they’ve helped me realize that I need to have the courage to believe in my own journey and know that I am worthy of these experiences that I’m missing out on.
In 2018, I am ready to take on the challenge of putting an end to my couch potato status. At the end of the day, it is part of who I am, and I accept that. I do get exhausted hanging out in social situations for too long. I do like to spend time on my own to decompress. Sometimes I’ll even drive to Target to walk around because it calms me. And I don’t think there is anything wrong with knowing your limits. Moving forward, though, I will step out of my comfort zone. Permitted I don’t have any panic attacks, I imagine seeing a shift in the way that I approach life. I stay holed up inside to avoid situations I know will stress me out. But what if I do the damn thing and I’m okay? What if I find an environment that doesn’t stress me out and I actually enjoy myself?
These anxieties have kept me from living the life that I want. I don’t want to do anything wild and crazy. Going clubbing is certainly not on my to-do list. I just want to get out there and experience the world that is right in front of me. I want to evolve into the person I know that I can and deserve to be.
I want to evolve and live my best life.
